Writing Your Own Vows


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Legally in Ontario, there are only two essential parts to a wedding ceremony;

  • the vows or promises you make to one another (the most personal part and the cornerstone of the ceremony) and
  • the pronouncement of marriage by the person officiating that you are now married

That's it. We could actually complete this ceremony in about 10 seconds if we really had to. The paperwork, though, still takes about 30 minutes. In all but extraordinary circumstances, such a short ceremony would be inappropriate.

Remember, this is your day and you get to choose how you want the wedding to progress and be remembered by your families and guests. Each ceremony we do will be completely customized to fit your specific needs. You determine the level of formality.

You can write your own vows, delete whole sections from your initial draft or our popular ceremony template (other than the two sections mentioned above), move certain parts around and decide to include music, readings (your favorite romantic song lyrics make a great reading) and whatever you feel is appropriate.

The words spoken will be what unites you and your intended. This wedding has never happened before. Choose your words wisely. We can help you fine-tune the words that will mean the most to you and your guests.

Whatever the chosen structure of the ceremony, it is important that both of you have some agreement and ownership of the words in the marriage rites. A wedding is a distinctly personal experience; a very personal occasion and should define the wedding couple.

Do not be afraid to "step outside the box" and be unique. Your guests will love attending a wedding that makes them wonder what will happen next. Relax protocol, have fun and don't be afraid to ask Lynne or Keith for additional advice or ideas.

Spoken promises of love will always be part of a good marriage, so finding the perfect wedding ceremony will reflect your love for one another.

Our initial draft ceremonies are meant to give you some ideas from which to work, etc., etc. Remember, ceremonies are a kind of poetry that you may adjust, add to, or modify as you wish. Anything goes!

We honour and respect all beliefs and traditions - religious, spiritual, non-religious, or secular.

It's "your" day. . . so you get to choose. We will help you to customize your ceremony to suit your needs. That's a promise we keep!

Once you have reserved your wedding ceremony with us, we will provide you with a draft script based upon your initial wishes. This is only the starting point as so many other options are then available. What you have, though, is a frame from which to build as you seek to fully achieve your vision.

We will provide you with a copy of our master ceremony template file which includes most major versions of verses for the individual elements of a wedding ceremony. You can then select only those passages which best capture your sentiments. You are free to import verses you have identified elsewhere ot those you have chosen to write yourselves.

A Bride exchanges vows with her Groom.  Her vows nearly filled a page.  She had a lot she wanted to say and only she could say it.  The Groom had composed his own vows as well, and being very comfortable with public speaking he gave them flawlessly without notes. You can each choose a slightly different method of delivery including the traditional one in which we prompt you, phrase by phrase, with the vows which you then repeat.

Composing your own vows, indeed composing your entire ceremony is a wonderful option available to all of our couples.  You are not expected to do this; in fact only about one in every ten couples of ours' composes their own vows.

Writing your own vows not only gives you the opportunity to share exactly the right words and sentiments with your lover, but also allows you to say them in the narrative.  In other words you could tell the story of your for love for him/her and conclude it with your vow of fidelity.  And don't worry if you're not a poet - your guests will score you highest for your sincerity and for the courage of having done this before them.

While the vows themselves are the most serious element of the wedding, this is also one point in the ceremony where each of you can catch your guests and perhaps each other by surprise by adding onto or replacing the more traditional vow verses you have selected with some well intended fun pointed at each other. Three very recent examples of just the fun verses are:

Groom: I promise to buy you flowers and to embrace the colour pink, as long as we both shall live.
Bride: I promise to be a participant in your endless number of tournaments and sports pools, and to play rock paper scissors with you anytime you want, as long as we both shall live.

Groom: I promise to pretend to be interested in curling and sit through the televised Bonspiels with you, as long as we shall live.
Bride: I promise to learn how to paint and keep job sites tidy, as long as we both shall live.

Bride: I promise to love and embrace any and all vehicles you plan to accumulate on our property, until the end of time (because that's exactly how long they'll be with us).
I will endeavour to repeat everything three times and take on your challenged memory as if it were my own.
I will love that shed just as it is and use my creative talents to find ways to make it useful to our family in its current state.
I will work hard everyday to learn to recognize your humour and to laugh accordingly.
But in all sincerity, I want to share with you that you are the most generous man I know. You are generous with your most precious asset which is you and your time. You tirelessly give your time to the boys and I, which has everything to do with why I am so happy and so fulfilled. I promise to never take this for granted.

Groom: In the 5 years we have been together I have come to know you and to understand your values.
I am in love with the person I have come to know and I have the utmost respect for your values.
The love I have for you and the trust I have in you is enough to know that I can share with you my goals, my hopes and even my worries. I know that I can talk openly and freely with you without fear of ridicule or reprisal. In that regard, I promise to continue to improve to communicate more openly and freely.
I want nothing more than to care for you and our amazing boys for the rest of my life. In that regard I promise to take better care of myself to ensure I live a long and healthy one.
Last but not least, I want you to be happy and free of stress. In that regard I promise not to do or even touch the laundry for the remainder of my living years.

These three examples are merely intended to get you thinking about the creative possibilites you can take by injecting some unexpected and very personal humour into your ceremony.

Whatever the unique comments you want to make in this irreverent style, your guests - especially those who know you really well - will be astounded by the relevance and freshness of such a public declaration and your ceremony will now further stand out in their minds. They will continuously comment favourably on your ceremony's innovation for years to come. All by the bold injection of some well chosen poignant pokes at one another, perhaps after you've voiced some form of traditional vows that everyone was expecting.

We recognize that it may take some time for you to fully process all of the many vow options available to you. We understand this and will work with you on your own timeline so that you get it pulled together just right. Sometimes this means finalizing the sript only the day before the wedding and sometimes, just at the ceremony, itself.

Contact us (Lynne & Keith) using the automated form or by phone at (613) 831-7555 to how both of you can leverage the power of these individual vows to make your ceremony the most meaningful and memorable it can be

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This website and all of its contents are copyrighted, 2008 and 2009 by Lynne Langille and Keith Langille. All rights are reserved by Lynne Langille and Keith Langille and may not be used without specific permission from Lynne Langille and Keith Langille.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lynne Langille and Keith Langille are not just any Ottawa Marriage or Wedding Officiant, non-denominational Minister, Chaplain, Celebrant, Justice of the Peace, or Marriage Commissioner. Lynne Langille and Keith Langille are the two most innovative and experienced Wedding Officiants in Ottawa and their passion in helping you achieve a spectacularly unique and personalized ceremony is what drives them. Call Lynne Langille or Keith Langille at 613 831-7555 to see what they can do for you in helping you with your Ottawa area wedding ceremony.